Dating Laz Alonso


This weekend, I was the envy of all of my girlfriends—single and married.  I attended the Disney Dreamer’s Academy to report for my blog, Diary of a First Time Mom, and my other love, Black and Married with Kids. The girls weren’t jealous of my quality time with Mickey Mouse–who by the way, is much shorter in person! They envied the handsome actors I spent time with. Lance Gross—who is as sweet as he is sexy, Lamman Rucker—who is as grounded as the day we met on a public bus 15 years ago, and Laz Alonso whose spirit is as beautiful as his smile.

Someone whispered into my ear, asking if Laz was only eye candy and couldn’t string a sentence together. He proved her wrong when he had an eloquent and inspirational conversation on stage, and a genuine approach off.  I thought about my column and wondered what it would be like to go out on a date with him.  A good-looking guy isn’t always a model man. I wondered why Meagan Goode’s character (Joanna) on NBC’s Deception didn’t give him much play.  So, when he was off the clock, Laz and I went on a date. So what if a dozen people didn’t give us the privacy we wanted. So what if it wasn’t “technically” a date. Ok, it was more like a red carpet press line. We didn’t sit down to eat a meal or to watch a movie. But we did engage in an interesting exchange, which at times is more satisfying than steak.


Heather: Laz, what are you looking for in a significant other, in a mate?


Laz: A mate? (Laughs) I never referred to a woman as a mate.


Heather: Right, but I’m not referring to someone you casually date.  I’m talking about the person you might marry.


Laz: (Smiles) Right. When I’ve had the best relationships—that to me have stood out above the rest, I wasn’t looking. I was open and available.  And I met the person that in my opinion God felt I needed at the time.  You know how they say you have friends that are there for a moment, what is it—a reason, a season, a lifetime?


Heather: Yep. It’s in Ecclesiastes.


Laz: Right.  There we go! I have not yet met my mate (laughs), my lifetime mate, but I do know that she’s out there. And it’s my job to remain open and to remain available. And to not clutter my life with unnecessary people who would keep her away in the event that I do meet her.


Heather: When you meet her does she have to come in a certain package? Do you have any nonnegotiables?


Laz: I wouldn’t want someone to use a nonnegotiable on me. Or write me off for something without getting to know me and my character, and who I am.  Obviously you have things that attract you, but I try my best to not to have any nonnegotiables.  You never know who’s going to be that one.


Heather: Expectations are so different now.  I just reentered the dating scene. I don’t date men who don’t pick up the phone and rely mainly on texting as a form of communication. Would you text back and forth?


Laz: My phone is my office. In my profession, I don’t have a workplace that I go to everyday. I get so many texts and emails—my agent, my manager, everybody’s hitting me. When it comes to personal relationships, I don’t want to text. I’m not going to sit and have an emotional or three page conversation telling you how I feel when we can do that in a conversation. And the beauty of technology is you can Facetime, Tango or Skype. You can see the person when you talk to them.  And really see and hear their sincerity. I try to keep my text communication to business and my personal relationships more personal.


Heather: Sometimes people think children are deal breakers.  Do you date women with children?


Laz: If you’re being selective about whom you date, then they will allow a child to be a reason to write someone off.  I think when I’ve dated women with children, more than anything; it was planning around and coordinating around soccer practice or basketball practice.  Or maybe they have a play.  Things like that.  It’s not a situation where you can just say, “Hey, what are you doing tonight at seven?” You have to plan.


Heather: Just like you plan around your schedule as an actor, right?


Laz: Exactly.  At times I’ve even offered to chip in.  It’s like; we’re both going to enjoy this date.  This isn’t just you.  You shouldn’t be the only one coming out-of-pocket on a babysitter. Let me help out.  I’ll pay for the babysitter.  I’m the one inviting you out on a date.  I think it’s more of a respecting each other’s time thing more than anything.  A child to me shouldn’t be a reason why a relationship shouldn’t work.


Heather: I agree! Thank you.


Laz: Thank you. It was nice meeting you.


And that’s how our date ended. Until we meet again over dinner or drinks, but definitely not over text messaging! Tonight, I’ll cuddle on the couch, and tune in to NBC’s Deception, perhaps cursing under my breath at Joanna for sleeping with Will (Laz) and then running into the arms of a rich man.


Hey DFTM Fam–what do you want me to ask Laz on our second “date?”



About The Author

Vlog Mom/DFTM Creator

Not long ago, Heather Hopson hosted a television show in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's back home writing a different kind of story as a new mom. In her 15 years working as a professional journalist, this by far is her best assignment! Growing up, she dreamed of becoming Oprah Winfrey. She was the features editor for her school’s newspaper and a teen talk show host for her city’s most popular radio station. She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Michigan State University. After graduation, she worked as a television producer and reporter at CBS, NBC and Fox affiliates throughout the U.S. Instead of heading to Chicago to join Ms. Winfrey on her set, she bought a plane ticket to the Cayman Islands instead. She arrived five days before a category five hurricane! She lived in paradise for seven years, hosted an award-winning television show and traveled the globe with a government delegation. She also served on the board of directors for Big Brothers Big Sisters and spearheaded a Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Then, she relocated to Washington, D.C. to obtain a teaching certification and instruct 8th grade reading at a high needs middle school. She later returned to her hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to raise her daughter Caitlynn, now 4-years-old. During her 10-month-stint as a stay-at-home mom, Caitlynn inspired her to create this blog, and Diary of a First Time Mom was born on Mother’s Day 2012. Two years later, she expanded the family to include 20+ writers. Currently, Heather serves as the communications director at Allies for Children. In addition, she is the owner of Motor Mouth Multimedia, which ranked #49 in Startup Nation’s Home-Based 100 Competition sponsored by Discover Card and Sam’s Club. Recently, The Pittsburgh Foundation and The Heinz Endowments selected Heather to receive an Emerging Black Artist award to develop Diary of a First Time Mom.

23 Responses

  1. GG

    Awesome chica! I’m always glad to hear when the personality of a celebrity matches the handsomeness on the outside. 🙂 Can’t wait to see who else you got to interview!!!

    • newmom0608

      Karla & Christine, no, didn’t ask him out on a second “date.” lol. I’m kinda old-fashioned. He should ask me, right? Hollywood or not! lol Seriously, it was great to meet him in person. I only watch a few shows, including Deception.

  2. Kim

    LOL! Such a cute interview! He seems grounded, and like he has as intriguing a personality as he does a handsome face–what a great package. Very well-thought out questions, Heather! Can’t think of what you’d need to ask him on your “2nd date”–but let us know how that turns out ;-).

    • newmom0608

      I know right! It was a date…lol…at least in my mind, and that’s what matters.

  3. Val

    Look at Laz dropping some knowledge. Great questions and excellent responses from Laz. Folks need to realize that Hollywood is a business, and it is a given that these men know how to handle their own. All the best for him. Good job.

    • newmom0608

      Thank you! He seems like a very grounded person. Happy that success has found a way to him.

    • newmom0608

      Yes! Be open & available, which is so different that desperate & settling for less.

    • newmom0608

      I always meet people when I’m not look, and meet the wrong people when I am! lol

  4. Monica J

    He is sooo cute. I really like his character on Deception, one of my favorite shows this year. I agree with what he said about being open and available. That’s usually how love happens. Good for him. Thanks for sharing the interview and for asking some interesting questions.

    • newmom0608

      Yes! I love Deception. One if only three shows I actually tune into on a weekly basis:) That and Scandal!

  5. Shayla

    After reading the interview, I may need to check out Deception. I loved what he had to say about dating women with children.

    • newmom0608

      Me too! Raises the bar for men who ask me out…lol. Loved that he said that both people are enjoying the date, so why should the woman carry the burden of the extra expenses.

  6. Keletso

    i loved that! i have plenty of questions!
    ok since he has no list of requirements.
    1 how does he feel about age gaps?
    2what qualities does he dream, or wish his perfect mate should have?
    3 How has he managed to stay single and somewhat focused when there are so many women throwing themselves at him?
    i have more but i Will most Def most more!


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