Dear Diary,

I love my daughter to the moon and back. Scratch that. I love her to the heavens and back. I never imagined loving someone this deeply and unconditionally. That’s until I became a first time mom. Having a child expanded my entire outlook on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day–a day when I previously received cards, flowers and balloons. Now, I received chocolate stained kisses from a two-year-old little girl now means much more than a gourmet dinner or a spa retreat. It means loving more than a man, a family member or even yourself.

Love Evolves

It’s a day that I make sure I tell my daughter that mommy AND daddy love her. Even if I no longer love him, or like him, which would have been impossible to imagine a few years ago.  Even if my daughter’s dad no longer loves me, he loves what I created–a beautiful baby. It’s important that our daughter knows that both of her parents care about her very much. We always ask her, ‘Who loves you?’ And she yells out, ‘Mommy and Daddy!’ Although I don’t always–OK make that rarely, see eye to eye with my ex, we agree on this one very important thing and work to ensure that she always feels loved.

Love Extends

I also want my daughter to feel love beyond her parents. Sometimes we play a game where she lists all the people who love her. She’s only two, so she gets a kick out of listing reciting everyone she knows, including pets and cartoon characters. When she’s a little older and understands shared custody arrangements, I want her to understand that it’s OK to share her heart with others. She can build relationships with more than her mommy. I hope she loves her stepmother without worrying about how it will make her biological mother feel. At first, I thought her stepmother would overstep her boundaries, but now I realize there are no limits in the amount of love a child receives.

Love Elevates

Most importantly, I hope Caitlynn experiences the love up God, which lifts you to the Heavens even when you feel like you’re at your lowest point in life. I am raising my daughter as a Christian. Of course, she’ll make the ultimate decision on whether or not she’s joining Team Jesus. But until then, I am teaching her the Biblical definition of love. That it’s patient and kind. That it protects and trusts. That God loves her unconditionally. That he turns her flaws into beauty marks.   So what I’ve learned about love is that you must love while waiting. Love while waiting for the pieces of your life to fall back in place. Love while waiting to heal from a broken heart. Love while waiting to see where God where leads you. Love while waiting for both you and the love of your life to be ready to meet.

On the 14th of every month, I’ll be revealing the truth about motherhood with 12 other writers. Follow the hashtag #NakedMoms, and check out the links below  from the other moms and find out which stories resonate with you the most!

Loving the Mom in Me by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

Present in Love by Laila at Only Laila

I Loved You Before You Were Born by Joyce at Mommy Talk Show

My Mom Was Right About Motherhood by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny

Being a Loving Mom Begins With Loving Yourself by Steph at Confessions of A Stay At Home Mom

I Love Being a Working Mom by Vanesse at Mommy Works A Lot

How to Balance Your Checkbook of Love by Diamonte at Liberated Mommy

Naked Love. Learning to Be Vulnerable by Summer at The Dirty Floor Diaries

Back To Love by Brandi at Mama Knows It All    #NakedMoms

About The Author

Vlog Mom/DFTM Creator

Not long ago, Heather Hopson hosted a television show in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's back home writing a different kind of story as a new mom. In her 15 years working as a professional journalist, this by far is her best assignment! Growing up, she dreamed of becoming Oprah Winfrey. She was the features editor for her school’s newspaper and a teen talk show host for her city’s most popular radio station. She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Michigan State University. After graduation, she worked as a television producer and reporter at CBS, NBC and Fox affiliates throughout the U.S. Instead of heading to Chicago to join Ms. Winfrey on her set, she bought a plane ticket to the Cayman Islands instead. She arrived five days before a category five hurricane! She lived in paradise for seven years, hosted an award-winning television show and traveled the globe with a government delegation. She also served on the board of directors for Big Brothers Big Sisters and spearheaded a Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Then, she relocated to Washington, D.C. to obtain a teaching certification and instruct 8th grade reading at a high needs middle school. She later returned to her hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to raise her daughter Caitlynn, now 4-years-old. During her 10-month-stint as a stay-at-home mom, Caitlynn inspired her to create this blog, and Diary of a First Time Mom was born on Mother’s Day 2012. Two years later, she expanded the family to include 20+ writers. Currently, Heather serves as the communications director at Allies for Children. In addition, she is the owner of Motor Mouth Multimedia, which ranked #49 in Startup Nation’s Home-Based 100 Competition sponsored by Discover Card and Sam’s Club. Recently, The Pittsburgh Foundation and The Heinz Endowments selected Heather to receive an Emerging Black Artist award to develop Diary of a First Time Mom.

4 Responses

  1. WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion

    I give you so much credit for staying on good terms with your ex for the sake of your daughter. That can’t be easy and you should both be commended for being mature and kind enough to put your baby girl first. xo

  2. Laila

    Love ALL of this. I tell my son several times a day that I love him and that Jesus loves him. It’s so important to me that he knows that.

  3. Summer Len Davis

    Girl, mad props to you for staying civil with your ex. My ex and I were civil for a long time but it was like a roller coaster. He’s a whackadoodle so sometimes he would come at me like a crazy person, then sometimes it was fine. He isn’t in my son’s life anymore. At all. My son is now adopted by my current husband and as nice as that sounds, my husband isn’t around much because of his job. I have two younger kids that suck me dry every day while my son is at school and when he gets home I feel like I have nothing left to give him. I hope he knows how much I Love him, but more importantly, we really need to get back to church so he can re-find the love of God. Nobody can replace that.


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