Why I Went Natural for My Daughter

Dear Diary,

It took a very long time for me to embrace my beauty and find confidence in how I looked. Now, that I have a daughter, I want to instill in her a high level of self-esteem and self-love–both of which I lacked growing up. Society made it very difficult for African-American girls like me to accept their own beauty. Even today, some young young ladies think that beauty must come in the form extensions or long, relaxed hair. That is simply not the case.

I want to teach my daughter to embrace and love her locks. Of course, I realize her hair does not define her beauty. Her beauty comes from within, and it stems from how she treats people. But I want her to be proud of her kinky curls nonetheless. I also want to educate her about the dangers of using chemicals in her hair and the lasting damage it can cause. I am not an extremist mom, who is totally against perming or flat ironing. Heck, I still debate whether or not I should return to relaxers. I just want my daughter to make a conscious and informed decision when she grows up. I didn’t have the knowledge that I have now about too many chemicals stripping the natural oils from your hair. I was kind of stripped from the choice of how to wear my hair.

Unlike when I was a child, you can now turn on the television and see images of beautiful black women rocking natural styles beyond braids. Janelle Monae, Solange and Erykah Badu can be spotted tossing kinky curls at the cameras. India Arie even wrote a song entitled I Am Not My Hair. And Sesame Street sang about corn rows and afros!

When my daughter becomes a teenage and is responsible for managing her own head of hair, I will be there to support whatever decision she makes. As long as at the end of the day, she is making the choice that pleases her and not society, I have done my job. But in the meantime, I will wear my God-given hair to illustrate that there is nothing wrong with being different, being black and being beautiful. Beauty comes in different shades, sizes and styles. God makes each of us unique, and it’s up to us to embrace our beauty–kinks and all.

Hey DFTM Fam–What beauty choices are you making with your children in mind?