Dating Diary: Not Everyone You Meet is Your Husband

Dear Diary,

Last month, I traveled to Washington, D.C. on business. After a long day of meetings, I met up with my favorite cousin at a trendy happy hour. As soon as we walked through the door, someone offered to buy a round of drinks, and while I was still sipping on my Mojito, a Darrin Henson lookalike asked to get me a refill. I smiled and turned down the offer, remembering my early morning wake up call. And although I’m single, I had no intentions of meeting men that night. (Funny how when you don’t look, someone falls in your lap).

But a few words turned into an intriguing conversation. We instantly connected, laughed like we were long time friends and made plans to keep in touch. His endless compliments made me blush. I gave him my number and went searching for my cousin who caught someone else’s eye. When I saw “Darrin” again, his friend told me I might be “the one.” He never heard “Darrin” talk about a woman the way he talked about me and that he wished he met me in perhaps a bookstore. I smiled and told him, I’m the same person if you meet me in a club, a grocery store or a church. When I left, “Darrin” walked me outside and offered to call off work to take me to lunch. I declined, not due to disinterest but due to a long list of appointments. He hugged me goodbye and said he looked forward to seeing me soon. I said the same. He was a great guy on paper–confident, not conceited; educated and employed. He made me smile and made me comfortable.

Then, he never called. At first, I thought maybe he was married or in a relationship. Maybe, the alcohol in his glass did the talking that night. I later realized that I called my phone from his, but I didn’t have a missed call. Dang touch phones! I always hit the wrong number or call someone on accident. I’m technologically challenged–I just set up my voicemail three months after getting a new phone. So for two days, I kicked myself. Did I just give my match the wrong number? Did I end something before it even began?

I learned that not everyone you meet is your future spouse, and thought about five action items that lifted my spirits.

1. Continue to Trust in God

God created the world in six days. He can send you a wife/husband in the blink of an eye. When you seek Him, everything else will fall in place. When it doesn’t, it makes you wiser and stronger.

2. Practice Patience

Would you rather wait a year to meet the man/woman of your dreams or rush down the aisle to marry a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Pull the plug of your biological clock out of the wall. It’s OK to hit the snooze button on getting engaged or starting a family.

3. Dodge a Big Bullet

Maybe mis-dialing my number prevented heartache and pain in my future. “Darrin” could be deranged, a deadbeat dad or a dog. I doubt it, but sometimes you meet someone for a reason or a season, not necessarily a lifetime.

4. Tell Yourself If it’s Meant to be, it Will be.

Some things are out of your control. If “Darrin” and I are meant to go on a date, I’m sure we’ll cross paths again on our journey to find our other half.

5.  Enjoy Life

I love my life. I don’t think I’ll love it more with a mate. A man compliments me, not completes me. Don’t get me wrong. I am very pro-marriage. But I’m also very pro being happy in the meantime, until you get your happy ending.

DFTM members– Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought about how things could have been with that one acquaintance or ex that you thought was a nice match for you? Is there anything wrong with “looking” for a husband or should you just relax and let things fall into place?