Dear Diary,

I grew up with a twenty-something mom. She was a fresh faced 20 year-old when she gave birth to me. My brother joined us four years later.  As a child, I remember thinking my mom was drop dead gorgeous and so full of life. I have vivid memories of us riding down the highway, blasting Xscape’s latest CD, singing at the top of our lungs. It was fun. She was fun.

As I got older, I started to notice that not everyone’s mom was like my mom. Their moms seemed a bit more serious, a little less fun even. It wasn’t until I was around eight or nine that I thought to ask my mother how old she was. A woman over 30 doesn’t disclose her age. I’m 28.  She had this big, bright smile like she was so proud to be in her twenties, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. And if she did, it had nothing to do with her being 28 with two kids.

Like my mom, I enjoy this time in my life. Contrary to popular belief, not every young mom is itching to relive their child free days when their babies leave the nest. I don’t have a fantasy of waiting up until the midnight of my daughter’s 18th birthday, with suitcase in hand, pushing her kicking and screaming into adulthood. Nope. Not at all.

Young Mom Stereotypes

But nonetheless, young parents tend to get a bad rep. As a millennial mom, I am all too familiar with the words used to describe my demographic. We’re lazy, entitled, and headstrong. As a millennial, I get the privilege of hearing those words and so many more mom bashing statements. So far I’ve been called inexperienced, a know-it-all, silly, and a few other things that aren’t worth mentioning. I honestly don’t get it though. Aren’t we all inexperienced when we’re charged with mothering our first child? Don’t we all consider ourselves the know-it-all? My least favorite dig of all digs is the, You’re just so young. You’ll understand more when you’re older. Goodness. If I could resort to a quick smack in the head every time I heard this, my palms would permanently be red. Because, no, I won’t understand more when I’m older. I’ll always be the young mom in the group. When you’re 35 with a 5-year-old, I’ll be 35 with a 15-year-old, while the mom of my 15-year-old’s bff will be knocking on 45’s door. Forever the young mom in the bunch. That’s me.

Young Mom Advantages

Now, it might seem like I’m complaining about being a young mom, but I assure you that I’m not. Being a mom in your twenties is actually quite amazing, and for as much strife as I have received, I wouldn’t change it for the world. So what are the perks of being a twenty-something mom? Well, I’ll tell you.

Your children witness you hustle.

When I gave birth to my daughter, I was a sophomore in college. Over the years, she witnessed me juggle motherhood, school and work. She did homework alongside me at the dining table, and she cheered for me as I walked across the stage to receive my degree. She saw the hustle it took to reach my goals, and she learned that hard work eventually pays off.

You fight harder for your dreams.

There is nothing that will light a fire under you’re butt more than knowing your child is solely dependent on you. You win; they win, but if you lose, well, they lose too. This realization prompted me to work harder and make wise decisions–I knew every choice I made impacted my child. Looking back, I realize this is where I saw my mom shine the brightest. She would get home from work, give my dad the car so he could go to work, and then walk to her college night classes. Every step was for my brother and me.

You’re still building your career.

Most twenty-somethings are at the beginning of their careers. They may be entry-level or just a smidge below mid-level. Heck, when I found out I was pregnant, I was working in the accounting office of Babies R Us (how fitting?) I didn’t know how I was going to go from the baby store to law school, but I knew that I had the flexibility to do so. I wasn’t a mid-level manager whose attendance was required at every meeting. I wasn’t the CEO of Big Biz Co that everybody wanted a piece of. I was able to build my career without stressing about losing my job if I put my baby first on the priority list.

You become a master balancer.

As people mature and start to take on more and more, including having babies, they desperately seek balance. Being a twenty-something mom gives you that balance faster, just on the backend. When I first had my daughter, I won’t lie, it was hectic. Sometimes, it went beyond hectic into this weird realm of insanity. Juggling parenting, school, health insurance, student loans, rent, bills, child care and work was overwhelming at times! There were some days that I thought, I just cannot deal with any of this today. But now, it’s a lot easier to balance. As my daughter grew older and more independent, it allowed me to dive deeper into my career, finances, etc. She needs me less, so I can focus on giving everything else that requires my attention more. Yep, the balancing act does get a little easier.

There are lots of advantages to having children in your twenties. And thirties. And forties. Having kids (whenever) is deeply personal, and I’m well aware that there are several variables that go into making that decision. At the end of the day, it all comes down to what works best for you and the life you’re creating.

Hey DFTM Fam–When did you become a mom?  What were the advantages of having a baby at the age you did?

About The Author

Millenial Mom/Senior Editor

Vaneese is a millenial mom raising a 5-year-old daughter in in Omaha, NE. She writes about working motherhood and the constant juggle of the position, none of which was in the job description or discussed in the interview. She loves being a mom, because she gets to laugh and learn daily, experience true, unconditional love and do the most important "work" ever--guiding and loving a tiny human. When not writing for DFTM, Vaneese blogs at Mommy Works A lot.

2 Responses

  1. Samantha Mangali

    I could not agree more! I’ll be 24 this year and my daughter is turning two. I’m the youngest at home mom I. My neighborhood and the only one studying part-time. I love being outdoors with my daughter, we play, dress up, I alwad want her to have fun with me. The other moms always say I have far too much energy for my own good and insist that its not necessary to be that active with my child. I often get the ‘you’re young,that’s why’ line whenever they attempt to explain I am like this. I’ve always wanted to have kids in my twenties because I never wanted to be that 50yr old with a teenager in highschool, which was the case with most of my friends. I’ll never be as fit and full of life as I am now and choosing to invest my twenties in time with my daughter is much better for me that if I had waited until I was older.

  2. Adanna

    Wonderful article! I am also a millennial mom and although I’m no longer in my twenties people always think that I am when they meet me. I think this is a personal decision and just like I respect people who waited to have kids when they were older, I expect them to respect the fact that my husband and I chose to have kids young.


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