Advice for New Moms

Dear Diary,

Welcome to the first edition of Ask Alpha Mom. My name is Deborah Mills, a.k.a. Alpha Mom. I am the mother of three adult minute of it. Motherhood provides the greatest joys and also the greatest challenges in your life. Every moment is special and has the ability to create a lifelong memory. In this column, I am here for you to share in those memorable moments and answer your questions as your raise your child into a happy, healthy and educated adult. At times, you may need another point of view. Or perhaps you’re curious about something and too embarrassed to ask your friends and family about it. Either way, it’s okay. So be comfortable in this space. It’s a no judgment zone. Ask your questions here, and I’ll get back to you with an answer. It’s motherhood made simple! When you ask a question I assure you, someone else has the same question. By you asking, they will receive the answer too! Today, we’re talking about guilt, anxiety and fear.

Dear Alpha Mom,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I am constantly worrying about my one-year-old daughter. I turned my back to walk into the kitchen, and she climbed up on the sofa and then fell off. I worried about her safety and cried all night. Even after I called the doctor who assured me she was OK, I still had anxiety about the incident. When does it get a little easier? She just turned 16 months on Saturday.                                                                                                                                                                                                         Sincerely, MJ, Worry Wart in Atlanta

Dear MJ,

Thanks for asking your question. You are not alone in your concern for your child. As her mom, you are both protector and nurturer in her life. If something happens to her, it causes you to feel like you missed the mark and didn’t fulfill your motherly duty. I get that. However, I caution you not to be too hard on yourself. You is more resilient than you think, and you are most likely doing a much better job at being her mom than you think. Worrying over your little one will lessen when you begin to acknowledge the true root cause of the worry and its negative effect on your life, as well as the lives of your family. Think about it–what good comes from worry? Worry produces stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation and agitation just to name a few. Try turning a negative into a positive. Begin to find the positive in every situation. You may have to search for it but it is there. Here we go: Your daughter climbed up on the sofa – she is beginning to exert her independence. She made it all the way to the top before she fell – those little leg muscles are getting stronger. Although she fell down, she got up! Thank goodness it was only a scare and not any broken bones or stitches. Instead, it was just a lesson learned. Offer concern and protection to the best of your ability, and let the rest go. Little bumps and bruises will happen. A few falls and couple of skinned knees are in the future of most little ones, but they survive. And so do we! I encourage you not to let worry steal precious moments and valuable time. Rest in the fact that you are doing your best to be the best mom you can be.

Hey DFTM Fam–Got questions? Do you need a veteran mom to give advice to new moms? Make a parenting inquiry in the comment box below. Be sure to include your name and email.