Cute Baby Collage

 

“You’re baby is just precious!” That’s what I tell parents when I don’t think their little one is attractive. Not cool? Well, what’s worse in my opinion is telling the truth—the ugly truth—when they force you to tell them what you think of their child who is still pink, bald or chaffing.

Recently, a baby photo circulated on Instagram with a long trail of rude remarks.  People called the infant names and joked that he looked like an old man and probably partied at nightclubs with his parents. So not nice! And so bad for karma! Growing up I always heard people say, “Don’t talk about someone’s baby’s looks or else your baby won’t look good!” I never saw a baby that I thought was ugly. Babies are beautiful—each in their own unique way. Little bundles of joy and mini miracles. But when they first come out of your you know what, they aren’t always as cute as a button.

 

When my daughter made her grand entrance into the world and the doctor held her up, I froze. I tilted my head slightly to the side and wondered if she really came from my uterus. She didn’t look like mom or dad. And he was the only person I was with for years before conceiving; I knew the paternity test would come back in my favor unlike the dozens of women on sleazy talk shows that I will never admit watching (never, I tell you!) Although I wanted to immediately shed tears of joy and shout from the mountain tops that I had the most beautiful baby ever created next to sweet baby Jesus, I didn’t. I probably had a stupid look on my face as I wondered if my baby was cute.

 

Becoming a mother in a matter of minutes (or 27 hours, depending on how you look at it) was shocking. I was shocked because I pushed another human being out of my body. I was shocked because no one told me the epidural would wear off. I was shocked that she didn’t look like anyone in the family and was much lighter than I ever expected. Her dad snapped a very awkward photo of her on the scale and text messaged it to my family in the waiting room. My sister later admitted that they pulled up the picture, and there was a silent pause. This all lasted for about two minutes maybe while I was still in the bed debating silently—I dared not admit out loud that I was thinking about if she was as nice-looking as my nephew who people talked about years after his birth instead of if she had ten toes. Those two minutes seemed like a very vain lifetime. Then the doctor handed my child over to me, fresh and clean, with a head full of shiny black hair. She had long lashes, rosy cheeks and supermodel smizing eyes like Tyra Banks. She was absolutely and positively the prettiest girl I ever did see!

 

But for a split second, I didn’t think she was hot stuff. I don’t think I ever told anyone this—not even my sister who was happy to learn that the not so photogenic picture of her niece was just an odd pose and bad lighting perhaps. Instead of saying, “She’s so precious,” she told me she was gorgeous. Before you judge me, know I did know that she was healthy with a perfect Apgar score. But you should also know I’m not alone! A recent (although unscientific) poll suggests that a fifth of new parents are disappointed with how their baby looks and most suffer in silence. I suffered for seconds–and now blame it on two hours of pushing.

 

Hey DFTM Fam–Did you think your baby was unattractive at first? Did you share your feelings with anyone other than your husband or partner?

About The Author

Vlog Mom/DFTM Creator

Not long ago, Heather Hopson hosted a television show in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's back home writing a different kind of story as a new mom. In her 15 years working as a professional journalist, this by far is her best assignment! Growing up, she dreamed of becoming Oprah Winfrey. She was the features editor for her school’s newspaper and a teen talk show host for her city’s most popular radio station. She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Michigan State University. After graduation, she worked as a television producer and reporter at CBS, NBC and Fox affiliates throughout the U.S. Instead of heading to Chicago to join Ms. Winfrey on her set, she bought a plane ticket to the Cayman Islands instead. She arrived five days before a category five hurricane! She lived in paradise for seven years, hosted an award-winning television show and traveled the globe with a government delegation. She also served on the board of directors for Big Brothers Big Sisters and spearheaded a Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Then, she relocated to Washington, D.C. to obtain a teaching certification and instruct 8th grade reading at a high needs middle school. She later returned to her hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to raise her daughter Caitlynn, now 4-years-old. During her 10-month-stint as a stay-at-home mom, Caitlynn inspired her to create this blog, and Diary of a First Time Mom was born on Mother’s Day 2012. Two years later, she expanded the family to include 20+ writers. Currently, Heather serves as the communications director at Allies for Children. In addition, she is the owner of Motor Mouth Multimedia, which ranked #49 in Startup Nation’s Home-Based 100 Competition sponsored by Discover Card and Sam’s Club. Recently, The Pittsburgh Foundation and The Heinz Endowments selected Heather to receive an Emerging Black Artist award to develop Diary of a First Time Mom.

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