When I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I remember locking myself in a stranger’s bathroom, peeing on a plastic strip and boo hooing when I read the results. I didn’t cry, because I didn’t want to become a mother.  I turned on the floodgates, because I didn’t want to be a single mother. My boyfriend at the time, the one who knocked me up, knocked on the door, wanting to know what was wrong when in fact he already knew–our relationship was in the toilet. Getting pregnant just pushed it further down the drain.

I opened the door to my future. A future I never thought I would live. My entire life, I assumed I would be like the girl in the childhood chant–First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes Heather pushing a baby carriage.  But the pink stripe staring back at me remixed a new reality. The sudden change instantly reinvented who I was. Would I no longer be the girl who took trips to Thailand? The girl who spent seven years on a Caribbean Island, sipping champagne, scuba diving and volunteering. The girl who took naps after work, spent too much money on manicures and massages and built a nice nest egg of stocks and savings.

I was no longer that girl. In nine months, I would reinvent myself as someone’s mother. I wouldn’t take a trip–even if it was just to the spa. I wouldn’t drink anything containing alcohol. I would no longer be Heather–the fun, outgoing girl. When I pushed out a person, I pushed my life out of the way. For six months, my child consumed me. Everything I said, read or did was connected to her, like an invisible umbilical cord.  Don’t get me wrong–I absolutely adored her! But I never imagined my life with her. Then suddenly, I couldn’t image my life without her.  Nonetheless, I lost a part of me–a woman. I was no longer Heather. I was only Caitlynn’s mom.

So when I celebrated my daughter’s first six months on earth, I decided to celebrate who I was before she was born. I merged my two loves–journalism and Caitlynn, and launched Diary of a First Time Mom. I also launched landed my dream job–a job I would never have received if I wasn’t a mom. Through my writing, I realized that I didn’t lose myself after all.  I just reinvented who I was, perhaps even changing for the better.  I became more passionate, more creative, more hardworking, more determined. Or maybe I was always those things but didn’t truly realize it until I became the one thing I never planned to be–a mom.

Every month, I’ll be revealing the truth about motherhood with other Mother Writers. This month, our theme was MOTHERHOOD & REINVENTION. Follow the hashtag #NakedMoms, and check out the links below (coming soon!) from the other moms and find out which stories resonate with you the most!


About The Author

Vlog Mom/DFTM Creator

Not long ago, Heather Hopson hosted a television show in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's back home writing a different kind of story as a new mom. In her 15 years working as a professional journalist, this by far is her best assignment! Growing up, she dreamed of becoming Oprah Winfrey. She was the features editor for her school’s newspaper and a teen talk show host for her city’s most popular radio station. She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Michigan State University. After graduation, she worked as a television producer and reporter at CBS, NBC and Fox affiliates throughout the U.S. Instead of heading to Chicago to join Ms. Winfrey on her set, she bought a plane ticket to the Cayman Islands instead. She arrived five days before a category five hurricane! She lived in paradise for seven years, hosted an award-winning television show and traveled the globe with a government delegation. She also served on the board of directors for Big Brothers Big Sisters and spearheaded a Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Then, she relocated to Washington, D.C. to obtain a teaching certification and instruct 8th grade reading at a high needs middle school. She later returned to her hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to raise her daughter Caitlynn, now 4-years-old. During her 10-month-stint as a stay-at-home mom, Caitlynn inspired her to create this blog, and Diary of a First Time Mom was born on Mother’s Day 2012. Two years later, she expanded the family to include 20+ writers. Currently, Heather serves as the communications director at Allies for Children. In addition, she is the owner of Motor Mouth Multimedia, which ranked #49 in Startup Nation’s Home-Based 100 Competition sponsored by Discover Card and Sam’s Club. Recently, The Pittsburgh Foundation and The Heinz Endowments selected Heather to receive an Emerging Black Artist award to develop Diary of a First Time Mom.

2 Responses

  1. BrandiJeter

    That reinvention from single woman doing her own thing to mother is something, isn’t it? I wouldn’t change anything, though!

  2. Becky Willis

    Love your reinvention story and love YOU! We should catch up some time…I had similar feelings facing single motherhood.


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