Dear Diary,

There are countless creative ways to announce your pregnancy. You can stick the news inside a fortune cookie, put a bun in the oven or buy a baby on board sign. In the case of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta star Rasheeda, she should have written her announcement on a brick and threw it through her husband’s car window. He seems to care more about cars and careers than his wife, so perhaps that action would have triggered a more emotional response from him. Last week, he said—with a straight face—that their baby-to-be was a setback. He went a step further and blamed her for getting pregnant. Apparently, according to Kirk’s (lack of) sex education, women are the only ones responsible for implanting their eggs.

Kirk’s boy Benzino later told him the pullout method went out of style in the eighties. I wondered when it was ever in style, and why is he withdrawing from his wife in the first place.
On last night’s episode, Rasheeda broached the subject again. Maybe she thought her husband would redeem himself. She called their conception a blessing and said they were the luckiest people in the world. Once again, Kirk ripped out her heart and stepped on it. He called the blessing bad timing. He called his wife spiteful. Then said, “I have a lot of kids.” I tried to Google the offspring amount, but the search results only produced allegations of Kirk impregnating his stepdaughter. But the fact remains—he only has one child with his wife. Shouldn’t she have the right to expand their family under one roof? Nope! Kirk said, “I’m just really not with it.” He then told her she needed to get an abortion and that the business is being messed up. Guess he couldn’t care less if an abortion “messed up” his wife’s body or even her self-esteem. Instead of consoling Rasheeda, running bath water with bubbles or massaging her shoulders, Kirk gets his shoulders rubbed by strippers at his boy Benzino’s house. And luckily his boy has some sense and was blown by Kirk’s suggestion to terminate his wife’s pregnancy. Perhaps Kirk should have gotten a vasectomy. Funny, because I recall him wanting Rasheeda to get pregnant last season.

Although I don’t agree with Kirk’s ridiculous reaction, I understand the reason why he didn’t do a cartwheel or jump for joy when he heard the news that he would have another child this time next year. I also understand how he could look in his wife’s face—a face covered with signs of hurt, humiliation and devastation—and not offer an ounce of empathy. He didn’t kiss her forehead, put his arm around her shoulder or tell her everything would be okay.

Kirk called Rasheeda a brand. I don’t embrace my Chanel sunglasses or hug my Gucci purse. I don’t apologize to my Anthrolpologie dresses or shed tears over my Via Spiga sandals. They are brands not humans. And in my opinion, Kirk views his wife as an object, so why should he care about how he treats her?

I don’t care about Kirk. I wrote this article for Rasheeda and other women who are treated like dirt when they should be given flowers. I know all men don’t have Kirk’s reaction when they hear the news that they’re going to be a dad. Even if it’s bad news, they know enough to keep their mouth shut and not suggest an abortion to the one they say they love.

About The Author

Vlog Mom/DFTM Creator

Not long ago, Heather Hopson hosted a television show in the Cayman Islands. Today, she's back home writing a different kind of story as a new mom. In her 15 years working as a professional journalist, this by far is her best assignment! Growing up, she dreamed of becoming Oprah Winfrey. She was the features editor for her school’s newspaper and a teen talk show host for her city’s most popular radio station. She went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Michigan State University. After graduation, she worked as a television producer and reporter at CBS, NBC and Fox affiliates throughout the U.S. Instead of heading to Chicago to join Ms. Winfrey on her set, she bought a plane ticket to the Cayman Islands instead. She arrived five days before a category five hurricane! She lived in paradise for seven years, hosted an award-winning television show and traveled the globe with a government delegation. She also served on the board of directors for Big Brothers Big Sisters and spearheaded a Send a Kid to Camp campaign. Then, she relocated to Washington, D.C. to obtain a teaching certification and instruct 8th grade reading at a high needs middle school. She later returned to her hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to raise her daughter Caitlynn, now 4-years-old. During her 10-month-stint as a stay-at-home mom, Caitlynn inspired her to create this blog, and Diary of a First Time Mom was born on Mother’s Day 2012. Two years later, she expanded the family to include 20+ writers. Currently, Heather serves as the communications director at Allies for Children. In addition, she is the owner of Motor Mouth Multimedia, which ranked #49 in Startup Nation’s Home-Based 100 Competition sponsored by Discover Card and Sam’s Club. Recently, The Pittsburgh Foundation and The Heinz Endowments selected Heather to receive an Emerging Black Artist award to develop Diary of a First Time Mom.

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