How a Single Mom Celebrates Father’s Day

Dear Diary,

When I first became a single mom, I thought it was my duty to facilitate a relationship between my daughter and her father. I made her available for visits, made suggestions for fun activities and made a point to voice my opinion often—even when it wasn’t requested. I worried that my little girl wouldn’t develop the same strong bond with her father that I had with my dad who lived under the same roof. Then I realized that I had to let go—let go of my definition of an ideal family and let go of my fears for the future. I had to let their friendship form with or without me. Here’s what I decided to do instead.

I realized what he thinks about me doesn’t determine what he feels about our daughter.
There have been times when my daughter’s dad loved me. Other times when he hated me—well, maybe strongly disliked me. And vice versa. But how we feel about each other doesn’t change his love for our child. It’s a separate, loving relationship.

I did for my daughter’s dad what I wanted him to do for me.
It took a big pair of big girl panties one day to offer my ex our daughter’s first picture she painted in her toddler program. I think it was a personal test to do unto others what I wanted them to do unto me. My art gallery, um, my refrigerator, was covered with art projects, so I thought it was best to share the keepsake.

Read my additional advice for single moms celebrating Father’s Day on Mommy Noire and let us know how you’re celebrating Father’s Day this year.